“We’re the people’s healers, not the people’s police.” That’s what Rev. Louis Riddle heard when he tried to get other chaplains involved in ICNY’s Domestic Violence Training Program for Religious Leaders. So Rev. Riddle just went himself. He wanted to get knowledge to help others because he believed that’s what pastors do. “We’re not supposed to just preach, we’re supposed to help someone. That’s why we’re called shepherds. Shepherds don’t just guide; they help feed and protect.”
At the beginning of the program, Rev. Riddle was surprised that when ICNY’s partners at CONNECTFaith asked what domestic violence was, he did not really have an answer. He realized that everything they described as domestic violence, he had done himself. “From insults, to beating, to violence – even in my marriage – that was me. And I was like, ‘Should I be here or should I go back?’ But when the light shines, you have to stay with it. And I had to be there – for myself at least – and for other people.”
According to Rev. Riddle the program wasn’t just a blessing to him. It was much more – educational, even enlightening, especially hearing the women’s voices. “When I was growing up, it was different. Women had a voice but not a loud voice. Here, they had a loud voice and it was crying.”
Rev. Riddle now believes that all seminaries should include DV training because domestic violence “runs very deep. It runs generations deep. I grew up in a father-son nation. We would see DV. It was common. It was always looked upon as ‘discipline.’ As in, ‘I can’t tell you how to treat your woman, how to discipline your woman.’ Even though it got out of hand many times, the way I saw it – it wasn’t my position to do anything.”
Rev. Riddle also recommends the ICNY program to other pastors because “it’s really got something. You know,a lot of preachers are scared of interfaith. They think,‘it’s challenging my belief system.’ But it’s not. It’s me exploring my beliefs and getting to know more about my neighbors’ faiths.”
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